The mental cost of free shipping

We are living in a new age; the age of the app, the age of online shopping, the age of never needing cash and the age of never needing to leave the house. Work often can be done remotely; everything can be delivered, and entertainment is plentiful. All this can be accomplished without leaving the comfort of our pajama bottoms and couch. How amazing is that?

But this fantastic convenience and time-saver does come at a cost. And the cost is, our mental health: Numerous studies have indicated that depression and anxiety are largely on the rise in our modern world. This is not a, since-the-pandemic problem. This exponential growth of depression and anxiety, especially among 10-20 year old’s has been steadily increasing over time. “Modern populations are increasingly overfed, malnourished, sedentary, sunlight-deficient, sleep-deprived, and socially-isolated.”[1]

We don’t get out enough, we don’t eat healthy enough, we don’t sleep enough and we don’t socialize enough. Now, add the current pandemic which makes socializing more complicated, getting out and getting sun-light more challenging, and all our devices makes getting proper sleep distractedly harder.

It’s no surprise, that 60 percent of college students today feel lonely. The problem is, loneliness is directly correlated with depression. And “…for us as a society, less contact and interaction—real interaction—would seem to lead to less tolerance and understanding of difference, as well as more envy and antagonism.” A lot of this can be blamed on social media; “… social media actually increases divisions by amplifying echo effects and allowing us to live in cognitive bubbles.…” As a consequence, “we … become less connected—except to those in our group.[2]” So it’s really important to make sure that we make and foster connections outside of social media.

So how do we address loneliness in the time of the social media revolution/apps/corona?

Humans are social creatures and we do vary in how much social interaction we need, but most of us are not getting enough. And we need to find a way to get it back.

So, go against our intuition of what’s good for you: don’t automate everything. Every time you order things online, or use a machine, you miss out on an opportunity to interact with another person. And while some of these missed interactions are missed opportunities to connect with a stranger, they do add up, or in this case, subtract from our well-being, when we miss out on them.

With this in mind, I have come up with 5 strategies that may work for you (your kids, your parents):

1. Make one planned social date a week. I have been trying to replace the gym with walking, which is great for my mental health, not as effective for my workouts, but anyway. I have now tried to pair that early morning walk and make it a social walk; Either with my husband, my oldest son, or a friend. This has been a great pairing for me, and it also gives me a lot more than one social meeting a week. The more the better.

2. Interact with someone when you have the opportunity. If you are in a store, instead of listening to your podcast or music, talk to the cashier, or the person behind you in line. Look around you and notice other people. Even a casual conversation can be uplifting.

3. Make 2 social phone calls a week. They don’t have to be especially long, but enough time that you feel you reconnected with that person.

4. Take time to be outside and pay attention. Try to experience your surroundings with all your senses. Go to a pretty place. Enjoy nature. This is ideal if you can do it with another person. Studies show that doing enjoyable activities with other people, enhances the experience, and doing them alone, can actually make you feel lonelier.

5. Put down your phone when you are with your family. Be mindful of those around you and carve out some phone-free family time so you can all take advantage of the time you are together. If you live alone, choose at least one meal where you sit and savor your food, and are mindful of what you are eating so that your meal doesn’t just satiate you physically, but is also an enjoyable experience. Good food eaten with other people actually tastes better so if you can't eat with someone else, maybe make a "zoom dinner date."

I hope these strategies help. Let me know in the comments.

[1] Brandon Hidaka (2013) Depression as a disease of modernity: explanations for increasing prevalence: Journal of Affective Disorders. [2] David Byrne, (2017) Eliminating the Human: MIT Technology Review.