I am so stressed out! How can I help myself and How do I know whether I need professional help?*

Whether it's Corona Virus or other life stressors, here's my guide:

Stress is caused by the release of the hormone cortisol into our blood stream. It’s an adaptive response that our body sends to our brain, triggering the flight or fight response, which is automatic and instinctive. This allows us to avoid or confront danger and it saves our lives. Anxiety is how we react to the stress. Stress is natural and inevitable, but we do actually have control over how we react.

Stress can be adaptive: Right now, we are encountering the pandemic corona virus and many of us are stressed and anxious. However, this stress may allow us to stock up on non-perishable items so that we are prepared for shortages. This may prevent us from taking unnecessary flights so we lessen the chance of exposure, and this may in small ways contribute to saving our lives.

When stress becomes harmful:

When a person gets stressed, they often turn to comfort foods, like cake cookies, ice cream, pasta, soda, coffee, chocolate, beer, wine, liquor, etc. I hope I am not making you hungry. But the fact is, these foods, food high in white flour, sugar, caffeine and alcohol do not actually comfort us, they can cause more stress.

When a person gets stressed, they might shut themselves into their house or even hide under the covers. This type of social isolation isn’t healthy either and can cause more damage.

Too much stress & anxiety can be highly uncomfortable, isolating and bad for our health, so how do we attain the balance we need to keep ourselves safe without making ourselves “sick” with worry?

We can control our anxiety:It turns out that we as humans have enormous capacity to control our thoughts, behaviors and emotions. There are two ways to do this: One is prevention and the other is intervention. Prevention is exactly like it sounds: you may not be feeling super stressed now, but it’s likely that you may, so let’s work on preventing that stress.. Intervention is when you are already feeling the stress.

Prevention & Intervention:

One good idea is to try and get in touch with yourself. What makes ME anxious? How does MY body manifest that anxiety? The more you are able to recognize what triggers your anxiety, the better.

Pay attention to what you are eating. Since we often gravitate towards “junk food,” when we are stressed, try to limit those foods (high in caffeine, alcohol or sugar) and try to increase foods that have been shown to decrease anxiety. Here’s a list of some lower-your-anxiety foods: chicken, beef, turkey, tuna, brown rice, white rice, bananas, mangoes, asparagus, avocadoes, sunflower seeds, sweet potatoes, milk, yogurt, salmon, walnuts, dark leafy green vegetables, soybeans, &whole grain foods.

Replace worrying thoughts with peaceful thoughts: We often have worrying thoughts, but it doesn’t help to keep worrying about these thoughts. In fact, it is often detrimental. What do you do if you have a thought like this? Acknowledge that thought and let it pass by, and try to replace it with a thought that you find comforting. Whenever this worrying thought pops into your mind, think of the comforting thought instead. Say it out loud or in your mind. Keep it there.

Accept what you have no control over: What I think people find especially hard in stressful situations, especially when dealing with the corona virus, is how little control they have over themselves, and their loved ones, getting sick. The sooner you can accept the fact that you don’t have control over every aspect of a situation, the better. This acceptance will lower your anxiety.

Find a way to release your anxiety: Another really important step to take is to find a way to release your anxiety. Holding it inside will make it worse. It will make it more likely that you will “release it onto your children” in the form of yelling at them, or in other ways. One way to release it is to talk to someone, a family member, a friend or a professional counselor, but there are other ways too. You can write, journal, exercise or meditate. I will write more about those ways below.

Exercise: if you are feeling cooped up in your house and don’t feel comfortable leaving or you are not allowed to leave, exercise is still an option. There are loads of YouTube videos that guide you through home exercise of all varieties for beginners to more advanced. If you are able to leave your house, even better. Take a walk or a run and get some fresh air. This can do wonders for everyone. Exercising on a regular basis is highly recommended to everyone as an incredibly effective method to prevent stress and anxiety.

Another type of exercise is peaceful movement such as relaxation stretching, yoga or t’ai chi. As someone who practices yoga on a regular basis I can attest first hand to its de-stressing attributes. Here’s a great teacher - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7SN-d4qXx0

Some great relaxation techniques that reduce anxiety panic are progressive muscle relaxation and deep breathing. I have included links to guided video demonstrations, but both of these methods are things I practice with many of my clients, especially because once you do it once, it’s easy to do it on your own when you need it.

Here's one that I was practicing today - https://youtu.be/7H0FKzeuVVsuntil my five year old came onto my yoga mat with me. We enjoyed this together for a few minutes, and I am hoping to finish on my own later today.

Progressive relaxation, is when you tense and relax each muscle one by one. Here’s a link to a short one - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nZEdqcGVzo.

Deep breathing – It’s way to slow your breath and help you relax. Here’s a great demonstration - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYQsRBNYdPk

*When to seek out professional help: If you have been trying to implement some of these tools, and it’s not helping, or you are not able to try any of these things, then you should look for a professional in your area. I have started working with people on ZOOM, a video platform that is ideal if you can’t come to therapy in person.

All of these tools are relevant for children and adults, but stay tuned to my guide on how to help your kids.